I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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