Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
