Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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