hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
