he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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