last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
