We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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