just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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