peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
