By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
