One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
