remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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