Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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