too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
