Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
