This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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