You're so nebulous sometimes
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize