Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
