We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
