you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
