it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize