hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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