I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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