we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
