Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize