i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
