Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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