Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
