I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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