that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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