it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
