If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Best friends brother. Beat that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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