Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
