I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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