if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am naked and annoyed.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
