# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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