playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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