it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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