Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
