i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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