i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want nice things and good sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
