I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
