Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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