Who wears a wallet chain?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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