Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
