Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
