Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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