No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
