I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
