so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
