I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
