If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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