The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
