3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
