id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
