I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
