well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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