nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
