just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize