come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
