and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Come see our sink grown plant.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
