i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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