Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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