I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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