What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
