i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
