Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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