I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
