listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
