That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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