I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
